Tag Archives: blue october

Songs For Sad People

To me, music is the antidepressant I know best, and one that is devoid of side effects. While necessary for many, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors frighten me because some artists and authors say they stunt their ability to create. As a writer, that’s unsettling, having my voice muffled or extinguished.

I know I may well have to use them at some point. I may need to find some stability from the ups and downs that characterize my depression, instead of white-knuckling as I have. But for now, I find, tiny instances of relief can be found in the furthest reaches of depression, small reminders that life is worth it.

Sometimes you just have to find the strength to push play.

Full article: http://www.laweekly.com/music/the-music-that-has-helped-me-battle-depression-5014322

I love how this writer described her relationship with music. Music has always been a huge part of my life, from when I first began listening to music on my own, late at night, discovering the rock music of the 1980’s on my Walkman to now, when I create playlists based on specific characters I’m writing about. My main playlist is just called “Writing,” even though I don’t listen to music when I’m actually writing. It’s the music that inspires my writing, and it brings me calm. Kristian Libman listed a few of the albums, bands, and songs that have helped her depression, so I will do the same here.

  • Blue October – I’ve written about them before, and their impact is still true. Lead singer Justin has been through hell and back, and listening through the band’s albums is like hearing his life story.
  • Audrey Assad – One of the few Christian artists I consistently listen to. Her songs are like hymns in their lyrical sophistication, but so intimate and personal at the same time. Every song is a prayer.
  • Ingrid Michaelson – there’s something about the simple strength of her voice that calms me.

Additional artists:

  • Joy Williams
  • Jetta
  • Brandi Carlile
  • Jason Isbell
  • Bee Bakare
  • Greg Laswell
  • Matthew Mayfield
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Mix Tape

One of the daily prompts on WordPress recently was to create a “mix tape” that represents me. Even with a list I developed, it still seems pretty impossible to really get my essence, since I have so much music that holds a significant place in my soul. Of course, everyone says that, so I’ll just leave it at that and move right along.

“So I Thought” – Flyleaf

This song was really important to me for a long time following my first relationship’s breakup. The lyrics, “A year goes by, and I can’t talk about it,” really struck home, since after a year, the wounds were still very frustratingly fresh. Even now, the line, “And I’m praying that we will see/Something there in between/Then and there that exceeds all we can dream/So we can talk about it,” feels relevant, since I did all of my processing/healing without the ex-boyfriend being involved at all. The final chorus, “And all these twisted thoughts I see/Jesus there, in between,” always brings me to my knees.

“When I Fall In Love” – Celine Dion and Clive Griffin

This is the cheesiest song that I love. It’s also the first song I gave to Chris. I love its optimism but also quiet hesitancy.

“You Belong Here” – Anberlin

The power of this song is in its simplicity. “You belong here/You were meant to be with me.” Most of my life, I’ve struggled with feeling like I belong anywhere. I would sing this song to myself at night, imagining all my loved ones, Chris, God, singing it back to me.

“The Worry List” – Blue October

Justin’s voice…it is my heartache’s voice. “I might have been gone, but I never walked out.” Take me off your worry list. It’s about picking myself up over and over again. Trying to ignore other people’s concern, and just being tired of people worrying. I’m fine, really, I’m fine.

“18th Floor Balcony” – Blue October

This was our first dance song at our wedding. It makes me feel such peace.

“Little Hell” – City & Colour

My little hell is my depression. This song perfectly expresses my fears: “What if everything’s just the way it will be/Could it be that I am meant to cause you all this grief?” and “There’s a degree of difficulty in dealing with me.”

“Wrapped in Your Arms” – Fireflight

I believe surrender is the hardest and most crucial part of being a follower of Jesus. Whenever I go through a period of struggle, I always end up in the same place but with deeper understanding.

Is this the whole picture
Or is it just the start?
Is this the way you love me?
You’re capturing my heart
I used to try and walk alone
But I’ve begun to grow
And when you tell me just to rest
I’m finally letting go
I let go

Take A Look At My Itunes: Blue October

ImageI honestly can say no band has affected me like Blue October has. Justin Furstenfeld has suffered from pretty severe bipolar for most of his life and his ability to translate that into lyrics is jaw-dropping. His voice is like sandpaper, wearing down on my heart callouses and leaving me feeling stunned and vulnerable. I have never gotten sick of a single song in seven albums. 

The new album is more optimistic, but never becomes sappy. When someone like Justin sings about finding happiness, you can tell its real. “Sway” came at the perfect time.

 

Lyrical Highlights:

(Not Broken Anymore)

I’ve seen the empty deep
I’ve damned up the water flow
You’re the touchstone my complete
You’re the ship that kept me afloat

Can you tell me that you’re real
So I can really know
That everything I feel I can finally show
Standing next to me oh the person I can be
Is finally here and he won’t back down at all

But I can’t stop thinking
how you just keep making
sense of all that was broken before

And I won’t keep faking
Cause I’m done with taking
Cause with you I’m not broken anymore