Category Archives: work life

what I’ve been into

TV that I’m into: “Playing House” on USA with Jessica St. Claire and Lennon Parham. I’ve been binge-watching this show, and I LOVE it. It’s exactly my sense of humor. It also has the added bonus of having Keegan-Michael Key in it.

TV that I’m looking forward to: “I’m Sorry” with Andrea Savage on TruTV

Books I’ve been reading: I’ve been reading A LOT lately, which is good. Just finished a historical novel called The Ghost of the Mary Celeste. It’s based on a real incident, and pulls a lot from history including the Spiritualism craze, Arthur Conan Doyle, and more. I just started my second Erik Larson book, In The Garden of Beasts. It’s about the American consulate in Germany during WWII and his family.

Work stuff: Just finished a book on Ethereum, which is Bitcoin’s competition. It’s unique in that you can create applications on its blockchain, it’s not just for currency. If that makes no sense to you, look it up, I’m not going to summarize the book again. I usually just get blank stares. Still working on the book for my Gildshire articles, too, just finished up editing and writing the intros.

What I’ve cooked/baked lately: Made no-bake brownies with black beans and dates. It’s more like fudge than brownies, but it’s delicious. Getting out a slice is kind of like digging for fossils, because they have to be frozen, but it’s worth it. I also made homemade tomato sauce the other day. It was a bit runny, but I can thicken it up by just reducing it some more. I didn’t make this, but we tried Ben and Jerry’s “One Love” ice cream flavor, which is banana ice cream, graham cracker, caramel, and chocolate peace signs. Chris says it might be his new favorite.

Fitness stuff: Still using the good ol’ mini trampoline and rowing machine most nights. I take just one day off a week. Also got myself a resistance band, which is very convenient. Looking forward to having the toned arms of my dreams. It’s been gross and hot lately, so haven’t been exercising outdoors as much as I (or Yoshi) would like, but what can ya do. I know weight isn’t the goal here, but I am happy that I’ve successfully went down to about 155 after plateauing at 160 for so long. Paying attention to macros and sugar has made the difference. It doesn’t matter if I’m eating just 1200 calories if way too many of them are coming from sugar.

Novel stuff: Still steadily working on my Harley Gray novel. I filled out one notebook, so I’m on to a new one. That feels like an accomplishment. Been focusing a lot on trying to actually picture my characters moving around in the world I’ve created, so I can convey that to the reader. That means writing a lot of stuff that won’t actually end up in the book. I’m still figuring out how to get that in the story without actually putting it in the story (like a character’s whole marriage, basically), but I enjoy the challenge.

So that’s pretty much it, that’s what I’ve been doing. Small group meets again soon. Chris’ parents will be visiting, which means beach day!

 

 

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Anger

So this was a bad week. But not in a way I really expected. I didn’t get paralyzed. I didn’t have to take off any work. Instead, I got angry.

Life has been kind of rough lately emotionally, and on top of that, I had to deal with the new stress of trying to get paperwork in for my new job as an online writing tutor. Something had to be notarized, so I drove myself to the bank like a big girl, and presented my paperwork. The guy looked really confused and tried to make a joke by saying he didn’t know what the word “attesting” meant. Reassuring. He then said that he needed another piece of paper that I left behind by accident, and that I had to get it, even though it’s available online and is still completely legit. That derailed me a little. I did as I was told, and came back, only to realize that there was an issue with my forms of ID. I tore apart the apartment looking for what I needed and just felt really, really angry. Like, I wanted to smash things angry. I haven’t felt that way in…a long time. I used to get angrier before I was on medication, but with medication, strong feelings of any kind are kind of muted. That’s just how the med game is played. This particular situation just got me really mad, but it seemed to be a little better and so I went back to the bank for the third time. Again, I was sent away. There was a spot on the form that asked for start date, but I didn’t know when that was, that’s usually something that gets figured out once the company knows you can work for them. I wanted to destroy everything.

Anger makes my body sick. This morning I got hit by a stomach-related illness that I knew was because of stress, literally nothing else, and I couldn’t go to the Salvation Army as I had planned. That reaffirmed that I’m just a really bad morning person – everything is bad for me in the morning. (Note to self: find a way to be Jesus’ hands and feet, but only after 2 pm-ish. ) Chris had to take all my stuff back to the bank and because he’s such a swell guy, the banker agreed to FINALLY notarize it, even though I was “technically supposed to be there.” Well, tough beans, I literally can’t move and this had to be mailed like yesterday, and it’s all your fault anyway.

Anger. It’s unfamiliar to me. I don’t really know how to manage it. When I get depressed, I just sleep. When I get really anxious, I usually get sick. Anger is a weird sick/smash/murder everything feeling. It’s an animal I do not recognize.