I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. Finding the motivation to get out of bed has been more difficult than it’s been in a while. I sleep too much. I don’t eat enough. I write a LOT though, but it’s all for work. For the last two weeks, I’ve been working on my first sci-fi novel. It’s supposed to be 38,000 words. It’s my second book with my raise, so I’m eager to get it finished and get paid. Money has been tight, but Chris and I both got raises, so we can breathe a little easier. Still, I have trouble…being, I suppose. I’ve lost my ability to talk. As in, have verbal conversations with people.
I don’t spend a lot of time around people, so when someone asks me what’s going on in my life or how I am, I kind of freeze for a second and I don’t know how to answer. I’m ok when they just talk about themselves, or issues at large. That’s easy. But I don’t know how to have an evenly-divided conversation where we really share with each other one-on-one. I usually just start talking about ghostwriting right away, because it’s ever-present and most people find it interesting.
Writing is easy for me. Having conversations…not so much. It doesn’t help that the people I’m closest to (besides Chris) are far away.