An Open Letter to NBC

ImageDear NBC,

Are you drunk? This is a serious question. Somewhere between your weeping into your gin over memories of “Friends” and “Seinfeld,” and believing that Anne Heche in “Save Me” was a great idea, did you just completely lose sight of what good TV is about?

Don’t get me wrong, you’ve done some decent things in the past few years. “Grimm” is pretty good. It’s got a great leading man, interesting stories, it’s riding high on the new popularity of fairy tales…way to be hip, peacock. You stayed faithful to “30 Rock,” one of the best sitcoms in TV history, and despite plunging numbers, you’ve stuck by “Community” as well. However, upon hearing that “Parks & Recreation” is going on a hiatus to make way for SNL clip shows, football, and “The Voice,” I literally smashed my face unto my keyboard. I then heard that your main reason for messing up your schedule was to encourage people to watch “Sean Saves the World” after losing the awful-looking “Welcome to the Family” and “Ironside,” which was LITERALLY a remake of YOUR OWN SHOW from 1967-1975. I think you know that people haven’t missed Jack from “Will and Grace” that much since after the premiere of 4.43 million, the second episode dropped to 3.26. Is your strategy along the lines of FORCING people to watch it by removing the best show in your Thursday night lineup?

Face it, NBC, you aren’t going to be pulling numbers like you used to. I know, I know, you’re a TV network, it’s all about the Benjamins, but seriously. You’re just not that guy anymore. You’re not the jock standing on a table in a bar, leading the rest of the group in a chorus of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” You need to embrace your identity as the quirky but charming guy in a corner booth with his laptop, looking up lists of reaction GIFS of cats. Your “The Office” finale (THE FINALE) netted a nice 8.07 million, but any random episode of “The Big Bang Theory” is getting between 10-15 million now. And that is a quirky show. Stop with the single dad/teenager daughter thing or young woman navigates New York City looking for love. Make the dad a mime and his daughter a six-year-old member of Mensa. Throw that young woman into a tiny Alaskan town (ala “Northern Exposure,” anyone?)

Oh, and when you do get a good thing going, don’t mess it up beyond repair. I’m looking at you, “Up All Night.” I am so disappointed in you, NCB. So disappointed.


A saddened and angry lover of “Parks & Recreation”


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